From IMDB:
Grumpy: I'm bettin' The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
The Joker: No, no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: Bus driver? What bus driver?
[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy] Gotham National Bank Manager: The criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in? What do you believe in!
The Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.
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The Joker: And I thought my jokes were bad...
The Joker: You prefer a magic trick, instead? Watch me make this pencil disappear.
[pushes down an oncoming thug's eye towards the pencil] Gamble: You think you can rob us of half our money and get away with it?
The Joker: Yes.
The Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
The Joker: Where do we begin? A year ago, these cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did your - did your balls drop off? Hmm?
[Gamble makes a threat; Joker opens his coat to reveal setup of grenades on a string, which he starts to tug.] The Joker: Now, let's not *blow* things out of proportion here...You know what? Here is my card.
[takes out Joker card and sets it on the table] The Joker: You let me know when you start taking things a bit more seriously.
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The Joker:
[Holding a knife inside Gamble's mouth] Do you want to know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker...and a fiend. One night he goes off crazier than usual, and Mommy picks up a kitchen knife to defend herself. Well, Daddy doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife and slices her up, laughing as he does it. And then he looks at me standing there, and says, "Why...so...serious?" And as he's walking over to me: "Why...so...serious?" And then he puts the knife in my mouth, like this, and says, "Let's put a *smile* on that face!"
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The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We're tonight's entertainment. I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
[nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing his shotgun at everyone.]The Joker: You know where Harvey is? You know who he is?
[grabs a man's face] The Joker: You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something. Just something, a little.
[turns the man's face away] The Joker: No...
The Joker:
[looks directly at Dinner Guest] You know, you remind of my father.
[takes a knife to dinner guest's neck] The Joker: ... I hated my father!
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The Joker: You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got them? Come here. Hey, look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful; like you. Who tells me, I worry too much. Who tells me, I ought to smile more. Who gambles, and gets in deep with sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it! I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!
The Joker:
[Rachel kicks the Joker away] A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: Then you're going to love me.
[The Joker holds Rachel Dawes out of a window] Batman: Let her go.
The Joker: Hmm.. Very poor choice of words.
[The Joker lets her drop as he laughs maniacally] -----------------------------------
Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home.
The Joker: Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him?
The Joker: Me? I've been here.
[holds up his arms in handcuffs] The Joker: Who did you leave him with? You're people? That's assuming they are still you're people, and not Maroni's people. Does it bother you? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Dent's current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon: Where is he?
The Joker: What's the time?
Lt. James Gordon: What does the time matter?
The Joker: Well, because depending on the time, he may in one spot or several.
Lt. James Gordon: If we're gonna play games...
[takes off Joker's handcuffs] Lt. James Gordon: I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
The Joker: Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, huh?
Lt. James Gordon: Not exactly.
The Joker: You have nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.
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The Joker: I want...I want my phone call. I want my phone call.
Detective Stephens: That's nice.
The Joker: How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens: I'm a twenty year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners...And the freaks like you who would just enjoy it.
[pause] Detective Stephens: And you've killed six of my friends.
The Joker:
[faking interest, mouths "Six?"] The Joker: I use a knife because guns are too quick. Otherwise, you can't savor all the emotions. You know who people are in their last moments.
[pause] The Joker: So in a way, I knew your friends better than you did... So do you want to know which ones are cowards?
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The Joker: See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like gunpowder...and dynamite...and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!
The Joker: This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them. Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen: They won't work for a freak...
The Joker:
[mocking his accent] A freak...
[pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons who grabs the Chechen] The Joker: Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is. It's not about money. It's about sending a message. Everything burns.
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The Joker:
[speaking to Harvey] Do I really look like a man with a plan, Harvey? I don't have a plan. The mob has plans, the cops have plans. You know what I am, Harvey? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one. I just *do* things. I'm a wrench in the gears. I *hate* plans. Yours, theirs, everyone's. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I am not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that what happened to you and your girlfriend wasn't personal, you know I'M telling the truth.
[hands Dent a gun] The Joker: It's a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics. But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair.
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Batman: Why do you wanna kill me?
The Joker: Kill you? I don't wanna kill you... you complete me.
The Joker:
[to Batman] We really should stop fighting, we'll miss the fireworks!
Batman: Not everyone's as ugly as you are...
The Joker: That's just sad... You can't rely on anybody these days...
The Joker: Do you know how I got these scars?
Batman: No! But I know how you got these!
[cuts him with a knife] The Joker: You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.
The Joker: Maybe we can share one. Then we'll be doubling up the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.
Batman: What did you do?
The Joker: I took Gotham's white knight, and lowered him to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push.
[laughs] Edited by DaughterOfTheMoon - 24/7/2008, 19:42
